Sunday December 1, 2013
You've probably heard the saying: “All things being equal, people will do business with, and refer business to, people they know, like and trust.” That's from my friend Bob Burg.
I’d like to share with you a bit of my history with my friend, the amazing Bob Burg. The thing is, you just never know how a small event may change your life.
It all started about 6 years ago when I was having coffee with a friend. We were chatting about this new thing called social media and social media marketing. I was frustrated because most of my time with clients was spent explaining the difference between inbound and outbound marketing – not the actual strategies they could employ. People just didn't seem to get it. Then my friend mentioned a book I should read called “The Go-Giver.” I read it and my problem was solved. Bob (and John David Mann’s) book became recommended reading for my clients. Even though The Go-Giver wasn't at all about social media, it was all about attraction marketing – whether that was Bob's intent or not.
After about a year of recommending Bob's book to everyone I knew, I decided to see if he was actually on social media. So I sent out a quick tweet asking my network if Bob Burg was on Twitter. Not only did about 20 raving fans (of his) respond – but also @BobBurg himself responded!
I quickly followed him on Twitter and he sent me a private message with his phone number! Within an hour of asking if Bob was on Twitter I had an interview set up with him.
That interview turned into an invitation to come to a conference he was hosting, and that conference changed my life! So to say I'm a raving fan of Bob is an understatement. He is a friend, a mentor, an influencer, and a life changer!
Now you can see why it is a huge thrill for me to introduce him to you on the #LinkedInChat on Tuesday as well as on our Hot and Hotter Business Time podcast (Time TBA)
More about Bob Burg
Although for years he was best known for his book Endless Referrals, over the past few years it’s his business parable, The Go-Giver (coauthored with John David Mann) that has captured the imagination of his readers. The Go-Giver shot to #6 on The Wall Street Journal’s Business Bestsellers list just three weeks after its release and reached #9 on BusinessWeek. It’s been translated into 21 languages. It is his fourth book to sell over 250,000 copies.
Bob’s newest book, Adversaries Into Allies, released October 31st, draws on his own experiences and the stories of other influential people, Burg offers five simple principles of what he calls Ultimate Influence™ — the ability to move people to your side in a way that leaves everyone feeling great about the outcome… and about themselves!
Bob is an advocate, supporter and defender of the Free Enterprise system, believing that the amount of money one makes is directly proportional to how many people they serve.
- The Art Of Persuasion: Winning Without Intimidation
- The Success Formula
- It's Not About You: A Little Story About What Matters Most In Business
Let’s Talk about Adversaries into Allies!
First of all, let's start with the revision of Bob’s famous quote:
"All things being equal, people will do business with, refer business to, and allow themselves to be influenced by those people they know, like, and trust."
In the world of LinkedIn, we know how important influence has become. And now more than ever, we can use this amazing platform to position ourselves as Power Influencers with out prospects and clients… But how? Bob will tell us how in Adversaries into Allies (AiA)
As is true with all of his books – Bob says that the fastest, most powerful and most effective way to elicit like and trust towards you from others is “via that all-important shift from an “I or me” focus to an “other or you” focus.
In Adversaries Into Allies, Bob lays out his five new principles that help us to engender the know, like and trust:
- Control your own emotions
- Understand the clash of belief systems
- Acknowledge their ego
- Set the proper frame
- Communicate with tact and empathy
Whether you want to convince your child to go to college or turn a prospect into a client on LinkedIn, I recommend everybody read this book.
In his book, Bob quotes my friend Dondi Scumaci saying: "Emotions are important for the journey... but don't let them drive the car!" The breakdown in most negotiations happen when we let our emotions take over common sense.
It's also very important that we understand each other's belief systems. Not just our religion, but also our working definitions of every day experience. As Bob says:
“You don't necessarily have to understand their beliefs system; you can start simply by understanding that their belief system is very different from yours. Then you will be able to work successfully within that context. You'll discover ways to ensure you're both on the same page, how to avoid unhelpful assumptions, how not to take things personally, and get additional insights into this very important concept."
As far as acknowledging their ego – sometimes we have to acknowledge our own as well! As Bob says: “About 95% of the time, being able to move a person to your side of an issue comes down to how you make him or her (or help him or her) feel about themselves." Which means acknowledging their ego. And perhaps releasing our own.
We must set the proper frame for our conversations. What is a frame? According to Bob: "It's the premise, the context from which everything else in your interpersonal transactions take place." You might know this as setting expectations! Set the right expectations and you can set yourself up as an ultimate influencer.
And finally it comes down to communicating with tact and empathy. Bob defines tact as: "The ability to say something in a way that makes the other person feel less threatened or defensive and more open to you and your ideas."
Are you intrigued? You can get a FREE first chapter of his new book at www.AdversariesintoAllies.com
So now that we’re more familiar with his five strategies, let's ask Bob some questions about his new book Adversaries Into Allies and see what he has to tell us on the #LinkedInChat. (In case you've never attended the LinkedInChat on Twitter, join us Tuesday night at 8 PM Eastern at http://www.twubs.com/LinkedInchat)
Q1: What influenced you to write this book?
Q2: How is “Adversaries” different from “The Go-Giver”?
Q3: You talk a lot about being influential In “Adversaries Into Allies” – is it more than being nice
Q4: Isn't getting people to do what you want manipulative?
Q4a: What's the difference between persuasion versus manipulation?
Q5: Controlling your emotions often means responding rather than reacting. What's the difference?
Q6: What are some other ways to avoid becoming attached to our emotions
Q7: Can you describe what you mean by beliefs system
Q8: What you mean by accept the responsibility for communication?
Q9: What in the world do you love languages have to do with business communications?
Q10: How do we deal with other people’s egos when we have – well - our own to deal with first?
Q11: Is setting the frame the same thing is setting expectations?
Q12: Why does setting positive expectations work?
Q13:What are the big differentiators that you speak about?
Q14: Why do you call tact the language of strength?
Q15: You say that empathy is key to your mastery of ultimate influence – what you mean by that?
Q16: Let's talk about how we can apply some of this to LinkedIn.
This is for all the chatters:
Q17: When/ where would you use "What can I do to help?" on LinkedIn
Q18: How could making the other's case work for you on LinkedIn?
Q19: How can you help someone "live in the solution?" on LinkedIn?
Q20: How can you effectively use a lead-in phrase?(@BobBurg – will you define a leading phrase for those who don't understand it?)
Q21: When is it time to say no – and how do you do it graciously and effectively?
Q22: @BobBurg – do you have any last pieces of advice for us?
Q23: @BobBurg – what would you like us to know before we wrap this up.